Archive for January 2015

Am I Matured To Be Married? ( Part Two)   Leave a comment

In the first part of this write-up, I have discussed the experience of a home shattered by immaturity.

Now, let me begin to examine one by one, SIX AREAS TO BE MATURED BEFORE MARRIAGE.

ONE.
PHYSICAL/BIOLOGICAL MATURITY.
This is the simplest and most common area of life considered before contemplating marrriage.

In certain culture, underage girls are given out in marrriage by their parents with or without the girl’s approval.
In the last quarter of year 2014, a girl, in the northern part of Nigeria who was a victim of child marrriage against her wish, poisoned his husband and his friends.

Several grave consequences result from people who agree to be involved in child marriage. I was almost in tears one day when I saw a kid-mother in an Islamic community in the year 2913 when I was on holy pilgrimage to Jerusalem.

In most communities, physical features are the only consideration before going into marrriage. This, although is important.
The physical outlook must convince all and sundry that a person is fully physically ready for marriage.

Do you know that this may have nothing to do with age? It is possible that a fifteen year old girl may appear more matured physically than a twenty year old? So it is with a young man.

There are instances of this.

In a male or female, there are certain physical features that proclaim maturity.

In male, these may include growing of hair in certain area of his body like, mouthstache, beards, teddy and a change in the voice and so on.

In a female, this will include having hair developing in certain areas of her body, well developed hips and breasts, commencement of menstrual cycle, and so on.

When a young man or lady sees all these changes, he is convinced, in most cases, that he/she is now matured. The tendency is great to be involved in marriage.

Not only that, others who see these features may not give the person a rest of mind by drumming “marrriage” into his/her ears. Parents can also encourage their young man/lady to go for a who to marry.

These features are essential because they are signs that one is now qualified to fulfil the function of procreation and multiplication as commanded by God.

It is impotant that one is matured biologically but it does not end there.
It is sad that, most of the time, this has being the sole factor people consider for marrriage.

This is very wrong.

The woman, as well as her husband, whose sad story is contained in the first part of this article was matured in this respect but it could not prevent sorrow in her family.

Marrriage is very complex and it calls for maturing in other areas of life. Therefore, you must be fully matured! Anyone who consider only this have every reason to regret later.

Apostle Peter said,
“Like new born babes, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into full experience of salvation.” 1Peter 2:2

So, you must also desire to grow into a full experience of a matured young man or woman before you will think about marrriage.

TWO.
SPIRITUAL MATURITY.
After physical maturity, you must consider very seriously your spiritual status. Everything that manifests in the physical had been predetermined in the spirit realm that is why you cannot take your spiritual maturing lightly.

You must not only be spiritual but grow until you are fully grown.

This is often neglected; whereas, it is central to marital success. Marriage is, in fact a spiritual matter. It begins, runs and ends in spirit.

Note these words from the book of Prophet Malachi in chapter 2:15,
“Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife?
In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want?
Godly children from your union.” (New Living Translation).

Happenings in marriage call for spiritual maturity.

Law or wisdom of man cannot make a marriage successful or happy. A wish for a happy married life must turn to a DESIRE FOR IT by every couple.

In Luke 1:5-7, we read that Zechariah and Elizabeth, parents of John the Baptist, were from a Godly home and they built themselves spiritually.

Both were spiritually matured. Both were righteous before God. This was the main reason they could handle their being barren for the period it lasted.

Can somthing else do this?

Let me not fail to make reference to the Manoahs, Samson’s parents, in the Bible. Both were also righteous before God. They were childless for a very long time.

They were so spiritually matured that an Angel of God appeared and spoke with them face to face to announce the birth of a Nazarite in the family. Afterwards, they offered an acceptable sacrifice to God.
Read details in Judges 13:8-25.

Note that spiritual maturity can effectively handle ALL KINDS of hard cases in marriage. Be matured in spirit.

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Am I Matured To Be Married?   Leave a comment

There is a question that every man must ask and answer himself faithfully before he will think of becoming a home maker. It is “Am I Matured To Be Married?”

Every fruit tree planted has its “gestation period”. Whoever wants to eat the fruit of any tree planted must wait until its time to bring forth fruits.
No short cut!

So it is with marrriage!

However, in marrriage today, maturity has been thrown into the winds. So many people engage in early marrriage; this results in grave consequences. You can read the first part of this piece titled “Seven Dangers Resulting from Immaturity.” on this blog.

In the year 2011, I met a woman during an evangelical visitation who explained her matrimonial problems; I volunteered to visit her husband their home.

She objected, saying,
“My husband may not want to listen to you.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Already, he has married a second wife. We are now two in his hands.”

“Why was it so soon? The two of you are still young.”

“Immaturity was our undoing.”, she finally declared.

Immaturity!

Not being ripe for marrriage before venturing into it remains not only a great threat to but a destroyer of homes.

This piece and subsequent ones, in fact this blog in general, intends to help the young ones, as well as the young at heart, who are already married; no matther how long they have done so.

It is important to state here that singles will need more patient to be involved in marrriage so that they will not rush in only to rush out.

The married people will also know those areas of life where they are yet to mature before they were involved in marrriage with the purpose of making positive changes where necessary.

A marrriage to be successful involved hardwork but many people do not know. It is only those who have developed the required energy and are diligent will make it work. Are you ready to make yours work?

If yes, prepare your mind to read about FIVE AREAS TO CONSIDER BEFORE MARRRIAGE starting from the next piece.
Stay blessed and rapturable because the Lord is coming soon.

Posted January 23, 2015 by 4thlink in For All

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Seven Dangers Involved In Immaturity Before Marriage (Part two).   Leave a comment

In part one of this write-up, we have discussed five of the seven dangers inherent in immaturity before going into marriage.

Now, let us consider the remaining two.

Six.
Sowing a curse. My private study has revealed that the first five dangers mentioned in part one of this piece will rear their ugly heads in the lives of children from such homes.

Let me explain further. Children from a divorce home has a great tendency to experience same in his or her life. Do you know what? Except a child fights this curse, it will become a generational one.

You may find this a bitter pill to swallow, but it is the truth you must know.

However, I don’t want to appear too pessimistic, for a child to have a different experience wiill call for TOTAL MATURITY before marrriage on his part and HARD WORK on and in his home. That is if the person is closer to God and ready to follow His leading.

To buttress this point, in the year 2012, I read a woman’s article on the internet in which she explained her ordeals in life. Before I could read half of her piece, it was clear that she had just been divorced and she went to live with her mother who had left her (the writer’s) father to marry another man. Do you understand this?

The writer went to live with her mother in another man’s (husband’s) house. The writer now has a step father.

Is the picture clear?

What befell the mother also materialized in the life of her daughter.
It is a danger to avoid.

Seven.
Hell fire is guaranteed.
The most dangerous of all evils that IMMATURITY attracts is HELL.

A careful study of the lives of many people who have encountered the earlier mentioned dangers show that they sink deeper into sin and evil works.

For instance, how long can a divorce man or woman abstain from “gratifying the flesh”? Do you understand what I mean? Someone who has experienced warmth together with a member of the opposite sex may find it very difficult to be alone for long. Yet, the wound from previous relationship bleeds.

What is the common thing they take to? You can answer that.

The same applies to a few widows who are victims of IMMATURITY before marrriage, read part one of this write up.

The Church of Christ is indirectly fueling this by their unavoidable philanthropic works. The church cares, as Scriptures instruct, for widows, fatherless and all those who are in needs.

This is very good!

The sad story is that this kind gesture is being exploited by certain unsaved and immature people who fell into marriage and quickly run out of it.

Therefore, the Church must continue in her good work but be very careful doing so. Salvation of their souls must take paramount place in the church.

Apostle Paul exhorted his son in ministry, Timothy thus,
“Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents;
for this is good and acceptable before God.
Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trust in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day.” 1 Timothy 5:3-5 NKJV.

I think the church should care for real widows, widowers, divorced women and men, single mothers/fathers, to see the possibility of reconciling them to their homes or creating a new Godly homes for them to manage for the glory of God.

Paul concludes, “Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: If she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.
Therefore, I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

The Church should follow this for the single mothers to rescue them from HELL.

Let me inform or remind you that the Lord is coming soon, His coming is nearer than ever. Be prepared to meet Him!!!

Posted January 16, 2015 by 4thlink in For All

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Seven Dangers Involved In Immaturity Before Marriage.   Leave a comment

What marrriage has become is not what God planned it to be. So many factors have defaced and outrightly changed it. One of such factors is IMMATURITY. In brief , let us discuss SEVEN DANGERS involved in this.

ONE: Sudden death.
There are cases of sudden death resulting from immaturity in marrriage. This cut across races and culture. Husband have shot their wives dead over trivialities that saturate marrriages; wives have piosoned their own husbands because of unsubstantiated suspicions.

The list is endless!

TWO: Divorce. Divorce has become an “easy option” today. This has taken place on any flimsy excuse that have been balooned in the court of law. The facts presented before judges have been enlarged out of proportion; so judges have no choices but to dissolve many marriages.

Whereas, maturity before marrriage would have saved many.

“For the Lord God of Israel says
That He hates divorce…” Malachi 2:16 a-b. New King James Version.

Do you want to involve yourself in what God hate?.

Watch it!

Three: SEPARATION.
This is seen by many people as a “better option” to divorce. For many reasons people prefer separation to divorce.

To cover up, they will appear “as if” they are husband and wife when “love” has ceased to exist. In this case, depending on ages of the children , and other factors, they “share” the children.

Four:- LIVING LIKE A CAT AND A MOUSE.
Late october 2014, I heard a story of a couple who live under one roof but never see each other’s face. They have partitioned the house very well that they cannot see or meet each other.

When their children are on holiday from school, for a month, these children will spend two weeks with the mother in her “apartment” while the other two weeks will be spent with their father.

In another family, they did not talk together. They write on paper anything they wanted to say.

The wife would write, “Your food is ready, take it in the kitchen.”

“I have put money on the dinning table to buy foodstuffs for the month” the husband would write.

Is this good?

Five: – A SAD LIFE.
The initial plan of God to institute marrriage is for both man and woman to live joyfully. Joy has eluded many homes today. There are couples today who live together BUT without JOY. They easily “see” their plight as “my cross”. So, the husband becomes “a cross” to carry for the wife and vice versa.

This ought not to be so.

A man of God on a wedding day narrated his experience with a couple. They were neighbours. The husband went to the man of God when meditating in the word of God one day. He explained that things have gone wrong in his home for years now.

The man of God was surprised because they always go out together wearing the same type of clothes, shoes, and so on. Young men and women used to pray for their kind of home, not knowing what is going on.

The man if God pointed to this but the man replied,
“Our clothes, shoes are always uniform but our lives are not as people see us. Love is lost!”
Immaturity abhors this danger.

Please, bear with me, read the concluding part in the next piece.

Posted January 14, 2015 by 4thlink in For All

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Designed for reconciliation   Leave a comment

DESIGNED FOR RECONCILIATION
Inhospitality was the undoing of my people because it brought a ten-generation curse them.
At the expiration of the curse, when a reversal was about to take place, I dived in and started to swim in the pool of love at the invitation of a young and vibrant young man who was full of life.

Although, he and his family were sojourners in my father’s land, love broke racial barriers.

That was how my tree fell on the spot where it decayed, because I had it in mind that I will be a man’s wife and not a marital excursionist.

My Creator, who had given my people to debased mind to do those things which were not fitting, had removed the vail from my mind because I had come in contact with the Light of Israel that illuminated the life of every member of my new family.

I became keen in the God of Israel whose way, worship and words were not like those of other gods. The stories of His past acts of deliverance endeared Him more into my heart.

I saw that His people were priviledged and peculiar who enjoyed uncommon favor, mercy, protection and His love.

Suddenly, the cold hand of death terminated my husband’s life before I could bear him a child.

However, these two did not frozen my burning love for Jehovah.

I have fused myself into Him unchangeably!

After the sweet life of my mother-in-law became wormwood by her losses: death of her husband and two sons, she purposed to return to his home land in Bethlehem.

She tried to dissuade me and my rival, the wife of my husband’s brother. She wanted us to go back to our people and gods.

Orphah’s feeble house of love built on sand crumbled after a kiss and she turned back.

Dissuasion from my cherished mother-in-law did not make me to kiss her “goodbye” but I cleaved to her with a strong determination to leave my people and gods.

I did not know then that my Creator designed me for reconciliation of my race with His chosen people.

A curse was about to be broken by my singular serious decision.

It came to pass as my submission guarrantteed my success.

It was not in me to run after men, young or old, poor or rich. However, one evening my mother-in-law called me to do what I would not normally do -to express my love to a man first.

This time it was for my good!

My steps were ordered into the life of a man of great wealth and strong destiny,Boaz, according to the wise counsel of an exprienced and sincerely loving person.

In the twighlight of that day, I sneeked into the man’s threshing floor.

I set his heart on fire!

He swung into action because he took gradual steps. He was not in a hurry as I also waited patiently to see what outcome would be. He did not rest until he ensured that his abode became my place of rest.

It later came to pass, as devised by the Lord God of Israel, under whose cover I went to have a refuge.

Before my courage could falter, He blessed me with a son, Obed.

People rejoiced with me and Naomi, my mother-in-law, because the One I trusted when there seemed to be no hope did not disappoint me.

I, Ruth, a Moabite did not only entered the assembly of God’s people, my root grew downwards and I grew upwards to bear fruits bountifully as I was included in the royal line of David.

That was the story of my quiet victory for my race!

Author’s note: This story was based on Deuteronomy 23:3 and the book of Ruth.

Posted January 6, 2015 by 4thlink in Family short stories

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Your Home In 2015.   Leave a comment

As you step into year 2015 with Jesus Christ, may He fill your heart with thoughts that will turn everything around to guarantee sure and lasting peace in your home.

The purpose of God to author homes will fully come to pass in your home in Jesus name.

Happy and blessed new year. Remember that the Lord can come before this year ends. Are you ready to meet Him with members of your family?

Posted January 3, 2015 by 4thlink in For All

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