Archive for the ‘spouse’ Tag


When it comes to giving,many married people are generous to everybody except their spouses​. There are seven things you should give your spouse daily. This are not weekly , monthly or annual giving. They are things you must give your spouse daily. Let’s see them:.

1. Give your spouse a touch: One of the ways to bond with your spouse is to give him or her a touch. We have encouragement touch, affirmation touch, healing touch, apology touch, and we have sexual touch. Study your partners and know what touch to give at a particular time. If you want God to touch your marriage, touch your spouse. Don’t let today go like that without touching your partner.

2. Give your spouse a Space: As much as you need to bond with your spouse and be together for daily intimacy, communication, affection, planning, etc ,yet, you still need to give your spouse his /her space. There is time for couples  prayers, time for couples bonding. Also there is time for personal prayer, personal meditation, personal rest, personal planing, etc. Don’t choke  your spouse. Don’t be over- possessive and over demanding to your spouse. Stop unnecessary policing and monitoring. Give your spouse a space they need when they need it. 

3: Give your spouse a call/ chat: Some people can chat with all the contacts on their phones & all the friends on their friends list on Facebook. But they will never chat or call their spouse throughout​ the day. Chatting or calling your spouse in a day at work is a way of saying, ‘Dear, despite my busy schedule, I have you in mind. I am thinking about you’. Make sure you send a chat, or give a call to your spouse today. Make it a daily thing. No body can be tired of receiving a caring chat or a call from someone they love. 

4: Give your spouse a Hug: Hugging is fast disappearing in many marriages today. It has been researched that, hugging is one of the emotional needs of every human being. It is scarcity of spousal hug that makes many men to hug ladies who are not their wives indiscriminately. Many women too crave for hugs and they allow every Tom and Jerry to hug them because their husbands are not giving them hug. It might be in the morning, or at night, let no day pass without hugging your spouse. It is one valuable thing you must give your spouse. It could be a welcoming hug, a goodbye hug, an appreciating hug, affirmative hug. Hugging is a non verbal means of communication. Use it well. Don’t let your husband or wife crave for hug from strangers when you are still alive. Hug passionately! Hug romantically. 

5. Give your spouse a smile: God smiles on a home when couples smile at each other. A smile is a way of telling your spouse, ‘You delight me’, ‘Your presence amuses me’, ‘I am pleased with you’. Frowning at your spouse is not a thing that should last a whole day. One of the way to know your marriage is SMELLING is when you are not SMILING with each other. Smile. It is one of the best gifts you can give your spouse in a day. I love to smile alot and I love to see my Queen smile. I don’t like people who are not generous with their smile. It is free. You don’t need to pay to smile. Just relax your muscles and smile. Couples, smile , keep smiling! To prevent your marriage from smelling, keep smiling with your spouse.

6: Give your spouse Peace of mind: The home is the end-point of every thing we do daily. Let me explain it this way. If you are a doctor, you can’t sleep in the hospital all the days of your life. You will need to come home. If you are an engineer, you can’t sleep in the site all days. If you are a lawyer, you can’t sleep in the bar all days. Even as a pastor, you can’t be in the Church 24/7. We all must go back home. Home is the end point. So, if your spouse will be excited to come home, it must be a peaceful home. Stop nagging, fighting, insulting, abusing , threatening, and humiliating your spouse. Give him rest of mind. Give your wife rest of mind. Be the head of your wife sir, not the headache of your wife. Madam, be a wife , and not a ‘knife’ to your husband. Blessed are the couples that give each other peace of mind daily!  

7: Give your spouse a prayer : No matter how wealthy or highly connected you are, there are things you can not do for your spouse. You are limited. One of the ways to show love to your spouse is to commit him/her to the unlimited God. Say a word of prayer to your spouse daily. Every other things may fail and may not work. But no force can withstand  the power of prayer. You can’t heal your spouse, only God can heal him/her. You can lengthen the days of your spouse. Only God can do that. You can’t save your spouse. You can’t take away addiction and evil habits from your spouse , only God can do that for him/her. Pray to God. Mention the name of your husband/wife to God. As a man, you are the priest of your family, lay your hands on your wife, or hold her hands and say a word of prayer to her life. It is a major gift many couples find so difficult to give each other. Blessed is that wife whose husband gives a gift of prayer daily. (Visevisa). 
Pray for your spouse if you don’t want him/her to become a prey in the hand of the devil. 

All this seven things you must give your spouse daily are very easy, simple, free and important. Put them on your ‘to-do-list’. Don’t forget to give it. Remember, givers never lack. If you give your spouse all these, I can assure you that, there is a high assurance that you will get it back. 

I love your marriage. The joy of your family is my priority. 

Share to bless a family. Share, don’t plagarise it. 

Written by :

© Ebenezer Diyaolu


Posted June 4, 2017 by 4thlink in For All

Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , ,

Love Is A Bird   2 comments

Love has been compared with many things depending on what the writer or speaker wanted to bring out.

So it is with this piece.

Love is a bird! A bird flies depending on its strength. It can soar high if enabled.

If any bird will fly high or low, it needs two wings. Take one of the two wings away and it becomes incapacitated. Anyone can toy with it.

So it is with LOVE!

I have heard many men and women complain that their spouse DO NOT love them. However, a close examination of their relationship revealed that they were the ones who failed to love their spouse.

Many people have the wrong notion that they are the ones to be loved and they should not love.

This is not God’s plan for lovers.

You must love and be loved. Then and only then can your love soar very high.

My private study showed that those who do not love and crave someone who will love them are only looking for someone to exploit, sell or destroy.

Please, as from today, show your sincere love to be loved in return!

Posted July 20, 2013 by 4thlink in For All

Tagged with , , , , ,

Your Demand Can Be Met ( Part Three)   Leave a comment

In this write-up, I will continue with the meeting of your own demands from your spouse. Don’t forget that in one of the previous articles, I have written that you must have your demand(s).
Failure to do this may spell doom for your home because you will not have any goal to pursue and you’ll be scared by any little challenge. You can easily fall for anything because you have nothing to stand for.
The number three demand of our young sister is what we shall consider here. The third demand from from her husband was friendship.
The young lady knew that she needed a friend. She wanted friendship from a reliable source. She wanted it from a dependable fellow who will be very close to her. She understood that “a friend that is near is better than a brothe that is far”.
To reap the benefits of friendship, the sister (or you) must be prepared to be a friend. You must be a ready-made friend before you can demand friendship. Otherwise, when a sincere friendship is offered to you, it will not be appreciated at all by you. You must understand the words of Proverbs 18:24 that say,
“A man (or woman) who has friends must
himself (herself) be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks
closer than a brother”.
My beloved reader, are you friendly? Are you a good and sincere friend? Do you fit into these words of Proverbs 27:9-10?
“Ointment and perfume delight the
And the sweetness of a man’s
friend gives delight by hearty
Do not forsake your own friend or
your father’s friend. …”.
Don’t be deceived, whatever you sow is what you’ll reap. If you sow a sincere and faithful friendship, you are bound to reap same.
Be a friend first before you demand friendship from your spouse.
Be a good friend and build your friend up, your spouse. Otherwise, you will destroy him/her and your home. Let me state three three things you must have as a person that wants friendship from your spouse:
1. You must love him/her at all times. Proverbs 17:17a says,
“A friend loves at all times”.
Are you ready to do this?
2. You must be ready to give honest and friendly advice. Proverbs 27:6 says,
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are
“As iron sharpens iron,
So a man (or woman) sharpens the
countenance of his friend”, Proverbs 27:17.
3. You must prepare to stick to your friend. As contained in Proverbs 27:10a, you must not forsake your friend during the rainy and dry seasons.
Hear what Jesus Christ says in John 15:13,
“Greater love has no one than this,
than to lay down one’s life for his friends”.
Let me state clearly here that failure of couples to be each other’s friends is one of the main reasons there’s a higher rate of divorce these days.
Inability to be friends to each other created a wide room for matrimonial mistrust.
To draw this point home, do you want your marriage partner to be your friend? The fact remains that you must determine to be his/her friend first. Else, if he/she supplies you friendship, you will only exploit him/her to abandon him/her later.
Be ready to meet your own quota of your matrimonial demands.

Posted October 15, 2012 by 4thlink in For All

Tagged with , , , , ,

Your Demandds Can Be Met (Part two)   Leave a comment

‘It takes two to tango’ remains a true saying. To have a demand is one, having a supply is another. For demand and supply to take place calls for two personalities to be involved. One makes the demand, the other supplies it.
The one that makes the demand must be ready to be supplied. Otherwise, the supply becomes valueless.
Back to our young lady under consideration, ditto any serious person, who have the five demands must have prepared towards receiving and appreciating the supply. If she was not ready, it will mean nothing to her if supplied.
The second on the list of demands by the sister is COMPANIONSHIP. She knows that companionship is needed in her marriage. She knew she needed it by all means, so she knew that demand for this must be made for it from the right fellow with whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life. One thing is clear about her. To have a companion calls for being a companion. If it is offered to any one who does not value it or seem to need it, it will be messed up. Therefore, anyone that will demand companionship must supply it too.
Your copanion(s) says a lot about you. You must share some things in agreement before you decide to have a person as a companion. Before you agree to be always together, there must be some meeting points. To always be near each other, you must have shared norms. Amos 3:3 asks a salient question that you must answer, dear reader.
‘Can two walk together, unless they
are agreed?’
The Psalmist understood, like the sister that demanded companionshh, the attributes of those who were (or should be) his companion. How did he kow?
He knew because he understood what his own attributes were as a companion himself. Read how he describes himself in Psalm 119:63
‘I am a companion of all who
fear you (God),
And of those who keep Your
The Psalmist and all his companions had the same shared values. These are:
1. Fear of God.
2. Keeping God’s precepts.
He was a ready companion with these attributes. He will honor anyone that has these qualities and others will honor him who recognise those qualities in him.
You don’t expect a righteous and upright fellow to be a companion of an evil doer. They walk in different ways. They head for different destinations. They can’t walk together because there is nothing to jointly agree on.
Are you ready to be a companion to have a companion? What are the attributes that you expect your companion to have? Do you also have the same?
Let me state here that the young lady that demanded ‘companionship’ from her suitor was ready to have her spouse as the only companion. She could stay and walk all the rest of her life with him. She wanted a complete man.
She was not ready to have a spouse at home but a companion outside.
She did not want to live a life of confusion where the husband will give an instruction and the companion outside will give another .
My beloved reader, do you want your spouse to be your companion? If ‘yes!’, you must FIRST be ready to be a companion to him/her. Are you ready? Peace of your home is certain, if you do.
Stay blessed and rapturable!

Posted October 1, 2012 by 4thlink in For Mummy

Tagged with , , , ,