Archive for the ‘woman.’ Tag

Marital Costs   Leave a comment

     I had the grace to listen to an interview granted a journalist by a widow on a radio station in Nigeria on Saturday September 24, 2016. During the period, the young interviewer wanted to know about how the widow met her late husband who was an artist who was interested in protecting his tribal culture.

     According to the woman, she was a young lady who was ready for anything “fashion” from any society in the world. She was not ready to compromise her young lady’s lifestyle.

     On the commencement of his love relationship with the young man, he told her, “You cannot dress anyhow. You cannot embrace any mode of dressing, from any part of the world. My artistic work centers on protection of our own culture. You cannot dress to contradict what we stand to protect. You have to adjust where necessary.

     The woman said it was painful for her but because of the love she had for the man and what he stood for, she purposed to do away with her lifestyle to fit into his life and what he stood for.

     This woman was able to enter into the man’s heart without any reservation(s). the man became one with her. He did not hide anything for her. This helps the woman to continue the man’s art-work after his demise thirty years ago.

     I was impressed with the woman’s stories. All that she said contradicts what I have heard from some women in recent times.

     What can this be?

     Many women have complained that the beginning of their love relationship with their husbands was rosy and something to be proud of. However, along the line, things started to fall apart and the centre of their love affairs cannot hold.

     One question such women, and those who have the same dwindling love relationship, do not ask themselves is “What has this relationship cost me?” it is one easy thing to complain about your partner in love but very difficult to do a heart-search of yourself and this is very important. Certain women (and men) in love, have the erroneous believe that they are the ones to be loved, no matter their past lifestyle. They have no reason to bring in a positive change for the sake of the love they are into. Loving is a two-way affair. If someone sincerely loves you, the best thing to do is to love him (or her) in return.

     Every marriage has costs. If yours does not cost you anything, your love for your partner is in doubt. I don’t think it is even wrong to tag yourself as “an opportunist” ready to exploit whoever is in love  with you.

     Do not be an exploiter!

     Let me briefly share with you the testimony of a young woman.
     This sister is re-married to another man. According to her, her immediate past lifestyle was excellently rough. She has these to say,
     “I thank God that I am now married to my current husband. God has used him to put an end to previous lifestyle that may have swallowed me up. I really thank the Lord.”

     Do you believe that you can have a positive testimony better than this? Do not be too rigid in doing what is not good. Do not be wise in your own eyes. Consider the words of your partner. See reasons with him or her. You may not know now, it will be to your own advantages and it will enhance your relationship.
     Stay blessed and prepared for the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.
All Scriptures quoted are from New King James Version of the Holy Bible.


Posted August 25, 2017 by 4thlink in For All

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You Can Be A Happy Woman   Leave a comment

On May 22, 2015, a woman Minister of God referred to men as containers bought by a woman whose contents are not known at the time of purchase. On arrival at home, opening of the containers reaveal the true contents. She said some women found beverages in their containers. Some women found sand in theirs; while many women found granite. Discoveries of women after marriage differ in respect of the true contents of their men.

This is true.

Are you surprised? I don’t know if you will agree with me that there is no one formula for marrriage. What do I mean? Each marriage has what will make it work. Thank God, the Scriptures has the formulae for ALL MARRRIAGES as revealed by the Holy Spirit. For a marriage to be successful calls for hard work.

You must work hard to make your marrriage a success.

Do you believe that each content of every container has its use and value? Do you agree that each has its chains of benefits? To derive any benefit from the contents of a container calls for diligence.

For instance, from the sister’s analogy, if you find beverages in your container, you need to take certain steps to derive maximum benefits from it. You need to prepare it before taking it. At this point, I don’t want to burden you with the steps you will take but think for a few minutes on “If I receive a tin of beverages, how do I take it? What steps will I take?”.

Those who find lemon in their containers do not need to go about complaining to whoever care to listen about their findings. They need to sit down and think deeply on how to make the best use of it. Any woman who found lemon in her containers can easily make lemonade out of them. She can enjoy this with others.

The functions of beverages is entirely different from that of lemon. Yet, both are of value to their owners. Do you understand this?

That is why “A happy woman is not the one who married the best man, it is the woman who makes the best of the one she married.” is a supporter of what the woman Minister said as quoted earlier.

Do you know how you can make the best out of your man? There is a key disclosed in Proverbs 14:1?
“The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”
You need wisdom to make the best use of the contents of your man. WISDOM! It is the principal thing.

Relying on force, murmuring, complaining, strong attacks, craftiness and other flesh based devices cannot be of any positive help to you but wisdom.

How do you acquire the required wisdom to handle your man? James 1:5 teaches that, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

Do you want to be happy in your home? Searching again for “an ideal man” is not the next line of action but asking God for the wisdom to turn your man to the “Ideal Man” you desire. Who knows? Your getting married to your man may be the beginning of your ministry or it may be your major ministry for which you will receive fron the Lord,
“Well done, good and faithful servant; …enter into the joy of your Lord.”
Stay blessed abduction rapturable because the Lord is coming.
Scriptures quoted are from New King James Version.

Seven Dangers Involved In Immaturity Before Marriage.   Leave a comment

What marrriage has become is not what God planned it to be. So many factors have defaced and outrightly changed it. One of such factors is IMMATURITY. In brief , let us discuss SEVEN DANGERS involved in this.

ONE: Sudden death.
There are cases of sudden death resulting from immaturity in marrriage. This cut across races and culture. Husband have shot their wives dead over trivialities that saturate marrriages; wives have piosoned their own husbands because of unsubstantiated suspicions.

The list is endless!

TWO: Divorce. Divorce has become an “easy option” today. This has taken place on any flimsy excuse that have been balooned in the court of law. The facts presented before judges have been enlarged out of proportion; so judges have no choices but to dissolve many marriages.

Whereas, maturity before marrriage would have saved many.

“For the Lord God of Israel says
That He hates divorce…” Malachi 2:16 a-b. New King James Version.

Do you want to involve yourself in what God hate?.

Watch it!

This is seen by many people as a “better option” to divorce. For many reasons people prefer separation to divorce.

To cover up, they will appear “as if” they are husband and wife when “love” has ceased to exist. In this case, depending on ages of the children , and other factors, they “share” the children.

Late october 2014, I heard a story of a couple who live under one roof but never see each other’s face. They have partitioned the house very well that they cannot see or meet each other.

When their children are on holiday from school, for a month, these children will spend two weeks with the mother in her “apartment” while the other two weeks will be spent with their father.

In another family, they did not talk together. They write on paper anything they wanted to say.

The wife would write, “Your food is ready, take it in the kitchen.”

“I have put money on the dinning table to buy foodstuffs for the month” the husband would write.

Is this good?

Five: – A SAD LIFE.
The initial plan of God to institute marrriage is for both man and woman to live joyfully. Joy has eluded many homes today. There are couples today who live together BUT without JOY. They easily “see” their plight as “my cross”. So, the husband becomes “a cross” to carry for the wife and vice versa.

This ought not to be so.

A man of God on a wedding day narrated his experience with a couple. They were neighbours. The husband went to the man of God when meditating in the word of God one day. He explained that things have gone wrong in his home for years now.

The man of God was surprised because they always go out together wearing the same type of clothes, shoes, and so on. Young men and women used to pray for their kind of home, not knowing what is going on.

The man if God pointed to this but the man replied,
“Our clothes, shoes are always uniform but our lives are not as people see us. Love is lost!”
Immaturity abhors this danger.

Please, bear with me, read the concluding part in the next piece.

Posted January 14, 2015 by 4thlink in For All

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The Content Of Your heart Attracts…   Leave a comment

The young man’s ailment began with a little headache that grew into a serious sickness until he lost his breath. He was the only child of his mother who was a widow.

During the period, rain ceased, dew failed and there was no mist.

Every herb was a ghost of itself in that all trees had no lifel. Every river and brook dried up. The sun blazed with all strength people were uncomfortable.

One afternoon, the widow went out to a nearby bush to gather sticks. As she was busy, a voice said,

“Good afternoon ma’am.” a man greeted her perspiring as he held his skin bag by his side.

“Good afternoon sir.” she answered without paying attention to him; but continued to gather sticks.

“Please, madam! Kindly give me some water.”

“Yes sir!” hasty, she abandoned the few sticks gathered and was going to satisfy him when the Prophet added as he sat on a log of wood, “Please, bring with it a plate of meal that I may eat!”

” No sir! I’ve no food at home. The handful flour left and a little oil are the reasons I’m gathering sticks to prepare them that my child and I may eat and breath our last anytime after.”

“Be at peace! Go and prepare that for me first. Your bag of flour will not be exhausted and container of oil will not be empty until the famine is over.” Prophet Elijah declared, as he smiled and wiped sweat from his face.

She went and did as commanded.

She invited the man to her house and they lived together until the famine was over.

While others were dying from hunger, the widow, her child and Prophet Elijah were fully fed because his pronouncement was established.

Other friends of the widow benefited when they heard sizzling from her kitchen.

This replacement of death with life meant nothing to the woman.

Her thoughts were many and varied. “What kind of man is this? He’s a hairy wayfarer. A bald head with a mouth fenced by busy hair. He’s a complete opposite of my dead husband. He was alone when I met him and never mentioned his wife or child.”

She always pondered, “His clothes are not costly or many and always wore a leather belt around his waist.”

She finally concluded, “Can this be an holy man of God? Is the word of God in his mouth?”

The Lord heard and acted on the negative thoughts of her heart. So He spoke the only “language” she could understand very well to convince her.

So, He struck the only son that he died.

She accused the Prophet wrongly, “What have I to do with you, O man of God? Have you come to me to bring my sin to rememberance and to kill my son?”

The man of God took her son, stretched himself on the lifeless body, eye to eye, mouth to mouth hand to hand and nose to nose and breathed into his nostrils. He did this three times and called on the Lord his God to return the young man’s soul to him.

The young man became a living being again.

It was then that the woman expressed her earlier unbelief in the man of God thus, “NOW BY THIS I KNOW that you are a man of God, and that the word of the Lord in your mouth is the truth.”

1.Scriptures quoted are from the New King James Version of the Bible.
2. Capitals were added.

Posted August 31, 2013 by 4thlink in For All

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Love Is A Bird   2 comments

Love has been compared with many things depending on what the writer or speaker wanted to bring out.

So it is with this piece.

Love is a bird! A bird flies depending on its strength. It can soar high if enabled.

If any bird will fly high or low, it needs two wings. Take one of the two wings away and it becomes incapacitated. Anyone can toy with it.

So it is with LOVE!

I have heard many men and women complain that their spouse DO NOT love them. However, a close examination of their relationship revealed that they were the ones who failed to love their spouse.

Many people have the wrong notion that they are the ones to be loved and they should not love.

This is not God’s plan for lovers.

You must love and be loved. Then and only then can your love soar very high.

My private study showed that those who do not love and crave someone who will love them are only looking for someone to exploit, sell or destroy.

Please, as from today, show your sincere love to be loved in return!

Posted July 20, 2013 by 4thlink in For All

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Lest I Forget!   Leave a comment

As you have seen clearly in the two case studies we have examined in the last two write-ups,SEEK PEACE in the home,your Jerusalem; PURSUE PEACE outside it.
It is a must to Seek Peace in the home. This calls for sacrifice by all means possible. It must be with love not law or by force.
It must be gently and patiently sought UNTIL it is attained and retained permanently. The value of peace within your householm is well spent out in Ecclesiastes 4:12 thus,
‘Though one may be overpowered
by another,two can withstand
And a threefold cord is not quickly
In brief,this verse tells us that a man or woman alone may be easily overpowered by another person. However,a man and his wife will surely withstand an opponent.
That will happen if tiere is peace between them.
Do you see that it is a must? Tha verse concludes that a family of father,mother and their children,a threefold cord,is not easily broken. How more difficult will it be if other members of a household are brought in?
The effectiveness and efficiency of a peaceful home is rightly put thus
‘…one chase a thousand,
And two put ten thousand to flight,…’ Deuteronomy 32:32a.
This can be interpreted that as one chases a thousand,two will put ten thousand to flight and three will drite away one hundred thousand.That is a threefold cord in action for you.
There are three enemies of every home,ditto mankind. These are satan,sin and the world. Each of these enemies is strong enough to distablise a home,if care is not taken. That is why every resources within the home must be deployed to chase these enemies away for peace to reign.
The combined effort of the members of a peaceful household will overcome these permanent enemies. If there is no fears within the home,the war without can be fought and won.
Even members of a home must not lose sight of the fact that the peace in the home does not guarantte peace outside but will surely pave the way for it.
Each member must know that there is war without and must be fought. Know this that every war has battles contained within it. Satanic war is there. Sin war is not wanted. War from the world is ever present!
Peace must therefore be pursued by chasing these enemies who are ever ready to invade every home away.
Read the lamentation of a man in Jeremiah10:20,
‘My tent (home) is plundered,
And all my cords are broken,
My children have gone from me,
And they are no more.
There is no one to pitch my tent
Or set up my curtains.’
The cords were broken because they were weak as a result of lack of unity and peace. Do you love to lament like him? Please be wise,seek peace in the home and pursue it outside. It shall be well with you.

Posted July 2, 2012 by 4thlink in Uncategorized

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Weapons Of Peace Retention Employed By A Man.   Leave a comment

There are lots of lessons to learn from the life of father Abraham who is widely called ‘the Father of Faith’.The man was always with his with.The Bible records this about him in Genesis 13:1-2
‘Then Abraham went up from Egypt,
Abraham was very rich in livestock,
siluer,and in gold.’
This shows clearly that it is possible to be rich in material things and still retain peace in the home.Father Abram who later became Abraham remains an good example for every man to follow.
To a discerning heart,Ahraham,(Abram if you like),was a man of great love.He loved his wife without reservations.He was ever ready to do anything (allowed by God) to please his wife.
He was ever prepared to make her happy and give her joy.He easily yielded to every desire of his wife,eve when it is contrary to his will.
Let us confirm this in Genesis16:2-3,
‘So Sarai said to Abraham,”See now,the Lord has restrained
me from bearing children.
Please,go in to my maid;perhaps,I shall obtain
children by her.” And Abraham heeded the voice of Sarai.
Then Sarai,Abraham’s wife,took Hagar,her maid,
the Egyptian,and gave her to her husband Abraham,
to be his wife,…’
Later,when Sarai said to the same man,her husband to
‘Cast out this bondwoman and her son; for the son
of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son,
namely with Isaac.’Genesis 21:10
Although the request was displeasing to Abraham,the woman’s request,this time enjoyed divine support;and Abram again yielded to the woman’s request again.
This is also an evidence of his love for his wife,Sarai,and his son,Ishmael.
Father Abraham was a man of great knowledge.He knew his God and was obedient to Him.You can read how the man was instructed by God to depart to an unknown promised land in Genesis 12:1-4.
Do you know that it did not end there? The rich man,Abraham,had knowledge of all that he had.He knew the value of all his belongings.It is recorded in Genesis 12:11 that
‘And it came to pass,when he (Abram) was close to entering Egypt,
that he said to Sarai his wife,”Indeed
I know that you are a woman of beautiful countenance.” ‘
Father Abraham was not ignorant of his wife’s beauty.He had the knowledge of his wife’s beauty.He appreciated it.He knew that any man would like to have a woman of Sarai’s beauty as wife.
Not only that,he had the knoledge of how people who do not fear God behave.He knew what they could do. He made this known when Abimelech took Sarai as his wife in Genesis chapter twenty.
Father Abram,understood what evil people who do not fear God can do to him because of his beautiful wife,Genesis12:12 reads,
‘Therefore it will happen,when the Egyptians see you,
that they will say,
“This is his wife”,and they will
kill me,but they will let you live.’
That is a man’s understanding at play.He understood what evil people can do.He saw with his inner eye what could happen before it happened.Funny (or sad ?) enough,it happened exactly the way he had envisaged it.
‘So it was,when Abram came into Egypt,that the
Egyptians saw the woman,that she was very beautiful.
The princes of Pharaoh also saw her and commended
her to Pharaoh.And the woman was taken to Pharaoh’s house.’ Genesis12:14-15
Can you see the important role played by understanding? Do you see any need for you to ask for understanding from God? If father Abram needed and used it,you can not but need and use it.
Do you know that the same ‘method’ was used when the couple sojourned in Gerar.
It was there that Abram made known his understanding to king Abimelech who queried him for telling him(the king) that Sarai was his(Abram’s) sister:he told him(the king),
‘Because I thought surely the fear of God is
not in this place;and they will kill me on account
of my wife.’ Genesis20:11
Can you see that it was his understanding the way of life of evil people helped him to survive? It will surely help you too,in all that you will have,have understanding!
The friend of God,Abram,employed wisdom-sound wisdom,divine wisdom. He knew his God very well that He is a God that can protect him and all that were his. He did not forget God’s promise,
‘I will bless those who bless you,
And I will curse him who curses
you;’ Genesis 12:3a-b
He knew that God will never fail to fulfill His promise,so he left everything in His hand.
Not only this,with his understanding of the way the evi5 people do things,he must take steps to cage them. He the applied wisdom. He made a provision in advance:
‘Please say you are my sister,that it
may be well with me for your sake,and
that I may live because of you.’Genesis12:12
The sound wisdom worked perfectly well. It was well with Abram for the sake of Sarai and he lived because of her.
Genesis 12:16 discloses,
‘He(Pharaoh) treated Abram well for her(Sarai’s) sake.
He had sheep,oxen,male donkeys,male and female servants,
female donkeys and camels.’
To be concluded,bear with me.